My Immortal
by Yukitoshuu Itsumademo
Summary: Harry is dead. Hermione is having thoughts of joining him, when she reminisces their last years together. Her thoughts are cut short when their child cries for her mother's attention, and Hermione knows Harry is still with her. I've had this story up on f


My Immortal

By Harrynhermione4eva

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Harry Potter, or this song, My Immortal. Harry Potter is JK Rowlings' and the song is by Evenescence. Listen to the song while you read this, it will really set the tone to the story.

The whole room may as well have been flooded. No, the entire world. Her tears just refused to dry. The ache in her heart tore through her chest but refused to leave. She couldn't take it anymore. It had only been a year. How long before she decided to join him?

'No!' she sobbed. She couldn't. His child was lying in the room next to her sound asleep. Her beautiful little Eveny with short curly auburn hair and dark emerald eyes that she inherited from her father. The little two-year-old never got to really know her father and it was killing Hermione.

I'm so tired of being here

Suppressed by all my childish fears

Hermione would one day have to explain to Eveny where the scar on her forehead came from, and that Harry Potter who she would learn all about at Hogwarts was her father. Harry Potter: the greatest wizard of all times. Even greater than Merlin who could transfigure himself into almost anything he desired; who was an internationally acclaimed master at alchemy, arithmancy and Charms. Harry had been all that (minus the alchemy) and more, but it wasn't reading and memorizing things that made him great. His heart made him great.

Something that Voldemort never had: a heart. Tom Riddle was never loved like Harry had been. Maybe she loved Harry too much if that was possible. She just couldn't let him go. She could still feel his presence while she slept; could still feel his warm body lying next to her as she slept; his arms embracing her like he had all five years of their marriage. He was engraved inside of her and his scent never left the sheets no matter how many times she washed them. They still smelled like fresh air and grass; of wooden brooms and leather gloves. She could still imagine him soaring though the air as he reached for the snitch the very first time and it drove her mad. She had to remind herself: 'He's gone! He's gone!' Her mind would scream till her whole body tingled with sadness and realization.

and if you have to leave

I wish that you would just leave

because your presence still lingers here

and it won't leave me alone

Hermione would tug viscously at her hair trying to make him go away, but she just couldn't let him go. He was like a wonderful curse that plagued her existence and stuck to her like gum on the bottom of your shoe. But on the other hand she didn't want to let him go, and that desire filled her more. The crazy voice in her mind told her that she could never live without him while the healthy one told her to move on. She kept jabbing this open wound with a stick till her soul went raw and she was poisoned. He remains in her blood and rides his broom through her dreams. They soar together though the puffy white clouds laughing because Ron just passed by them, making her hair go flying everywhere. She never did like flying much, but she always felt safer when Harry was near her. His touch alone made her feel safe. Now it was just painful, and she felt as though he was touching her every moment of her existence. She remembered the first time they kissed. Oh, how he held her; so sweetly and protectively as to make sure nothing could possibly harm her. Then the first time they came together as one. He encased her with a warmth that could never let her go cold again. Those memories alone could not add up to what he meant to her.

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

She remembered when he told her that it was either him or Voldemort. He crumbled into her protective warmth and she let his tears dampen her shirt. Instinctively she wiped them away and soothed him by rocking him back and forth, whispering soft, sweet words into his ears; feeding each word like warm honey. They sat there for hours, not saying a single word until the fire in the common room had burned out. She made him promise to tell Ron, making sure he knew it was the right thing to do. Imagine if Ron had found out and how he would react if he knew Harry had been keeping this secret from Ron. He had only told Hermione first because they were the only two left in the common room and being the Hermione that he knew so well, she made him tell her what was wrong. She felt as though she knew all along that there was something Dumbledore wasn't telling them. Harry told Ron the next day and they all cried together. They harbored that secret all though their sixth year and into their seventh when someone somehow found out and blabbed to the entire school. Soon enough it was all over and in the front page story in Rita Skeeter's column. Voldemort found out, and soon attacks were more frequent than once a year.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

Harry had gone crazy by that point. The Fidelius charm was performed and Harry, Ron and Hermione were sent to Grimwauld Place for protection, against Harry's consent.

Soon enough, it was only two of them left.

When Ron left Grimwauld Place one innocent morning to go to Ginny's graduation, the birds chirping didn't give him any sort of sign that it would be his last morning. A death eater (that bastard, Draco Malfoy to be exact) blew up a street full of muggles…and Ron. Of course ol' Draco escaped, but the deed was still done. Ron was dead, and nothing could bring him back.

The next morning, Harry and Hermione (after staying up all night worrying about why Ron didn't come home) they got the aggravating news. Harry screamed as he broke down, tossing his wand at Sirius' mother's portrait making her scream and complain. Harry marched over to the table, turning it over and making everything go flying. Crystals smashed into the wall, and wooden statues were thrown into the fire as Harry tugged at his hair and curled up on the floor sobbing and screaming. Hermione rushed over and cradled him.

'It's all my fault! Everyone I care about dies!' He shouted over and over again. She soothed him and combed his messy raven hair with her fingers as she wiped his tears away, but letting her own fall freely.

'Don't you say that Harry Potter!' she scolded, 'Ron chose to be your friend and so have I! We both know there's a risk involved but that doesn't matter! We both knew we would do anything to get rid of Voldemort!' She looked at him, seeing that he still wasn't completely convinced. She saw that hint of uncertainty in his eyes.

'Harry,' Hermione said, taking his hand in her own, bringing him to look straight in her eyes, 'You will defeat Voldemort. Everyone will help you, even if that means we die in the fight.'

'No, no,' he sobbed, shaking his head violently and burying his head in her bosom, 'I can't loose you too, I just can't' he screamed and before she knew what was happening he had raised his head again and her lips were pressed against his and he was crushing her with his embrace; encasing her in a protective hold. She pulled back slightly, trying to make his grip looser, and when he finally released, she kissed him back, letting him know that she wasn't going anywhere.

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

They used the rooms in Grimwauld to practice during the day and curled up in front of the muggle telly at night before they went to bed together. Oh, the nights. They would make love till their lungs were burning and their muscles would ache and then do it all over again. It was two years living in a dream world where nothing could go wrong.

And then they became engaged.

Hermione had never seen Harry happier or his eyes become so bright when she said yes. Her head was spinning in all sorts of directions and she could barely see Harry though all the happiness radiating though her eyes.

They were wed a month later; Dumbledore officiating the ceremony. The entire Order of the Phoenix came to witness such a wondrous event. When Hermione held Harry's hands in front of the minister, she didn't realize she would have to give him to death in five years. He loved her, and she loved him, and that's all that mattered. They were silly children in love.

and I've held your hand though all of these years

but you still have all of me

Hermione was near Harry's side though every moment, every second of that five years. The first few years were really easy. Hermione and Minerva Mc Gonagall Figured out how to transfigure one of the larger rooms into a Quidditch pitch for Harry. Hermione had made sure to keep it locked till July 31st, when she blindfolded her husband, and drug him to the front of the door. She threw open the doors and before he could see it, he knew what it was. Harry could never mistake the sweet smell of grass or the feel of the light breeze blowing softly on his cheeks. His eyes brightened when the blindfold was removed and spun Hermione around and around until she felt sick from all the spinning, but that feeling was overridden by the joy she was feeling.

'Oh, Hermione it's perfect! I love it! I love you so much,' he said before kissing her sweetly. She could even feel his eyes shining even though they were closed from their kiss. She could feel it in his kiss and soon he couldn't help it but laugh. She remembered the way he laughed. He had been so happy; happier than he'd ever been since they got married. She always loved it when he was happy.

You used to captivate me

by your resonating light

Just thinking about his laugh now brought Hermione to tears again. It was unbearable. How could there have been a time when she was happy? She can only now feel happiness around Eveny, for Eveny is half of Hermione's soulmate. She can almost feel the same warmth coming from her daughter as she felt from Harry. Eveny knows no difference, though and that is what makes Hermione cry. It is a plague she must live with: her daughter not being able to get to know her dad.

And the countless nights she wakes up, reaching over to her right to where Harry once laid. The spot where her love slept safely next to her. She rolls over to that spot and dreams about his dark emerald eyes shining even in the darkness. A smile plays on his face as his rough callused hand (from too many years of Quidditch) runs languidly along her back. Sometimes she actually believes that she can feel him doing just that again. She doesn't move, not yet and she can almost hear him tell her how much he loves her again and she responds to the dark night. Of course she knows she's barking mad, but the comfort of this shadows her sanity and her brilliant mind lets her believe that he is still there with her.

but now I'm bound by the life you left behind

your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams

your voice it chased away the sanity in me

And then she awakes the next morning, knowing how crazy she is and hoping he is not watching her now. It would be painful for her to think about that for long. The open wound in her heart tears her apart and the agony keeps her in bed until she can hear her daughter cry for her.

'My daughter is my only sanity,' she thinks to herself time and time again. Her daughter can't help it if her poor mother can't forget the past. It's not Eveny's fault that her mother is living a life where she won't even put a Band-Aid over her cuts. Hermione doesn't want to forget about it so she makes her wound larger, making the pain feel alive, so that she can't forget.

these wounds won't seem to heal

the pain is just too real

there's just too much that time cannot erase

The next time Harry cried was when his daughter was born. He cried when Madame Pomphrey told them it was a girl and Hermione just laughed with happy tears as she cradled their newborn. When she handed her to Harry, he couldn't stop his eyes from continually growing wet.

'I can't even see my own daughter because my bloody eyes are so flooded.' Hermione laughed and dried the joy from his eyes.

'She's perfect,' Hermione said as Harry kissed them both on the head.

'Oh, Merlin. She's just as perfect as her mother,' he said, making her smile.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears.

When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears

Their life was wonderful; their life was perfect, until that fateful day came when Voldemort found where they lived. They were all sleeping until Harry awoke screaming and clutching his scar. It was wrenching and burning like nothing he'd ever felt before. Not only did Harry's scar burn, but Hermione had a horrible dream that seemed so real…

As her perfect baby slept, a cold filled the room and Satan himself creaked open the door. Lord Voldemort moved swiftly over to Eveny's crib and peered over at her feeble little body.

'Well this looks familiar,' the cold voice cackled in a menacing tone. Hermione forced herself awake and looked over to where her husband lay next to her, twitching and writhing with pain.

'Harry, wake-up!' she shouted as she shook her husband violently. He awoke and looked at her with great distress on his face. Before she could say a word, he grabbed their wands on the table next to their bed and handed her her own. Slowly, they crept down the hall, checking everywhere to find any trace of evil. As they turned the corner cautiously, Harry noticed a flash of dark black, and his scar pricked more than ever. He held his forehead in hope that it would seize the pain, but it could not stop the tars from falling in pain. Soon Harry tore after the figure and Hermione followed him, wand ready to attack. When she rounded the corner, she saw her love face to face with none other than the most foul creature on earth: Lord Voldemort.

'You didn't harm her, did you?' Harry yelled at the cloaked figure. Tom Riddle only smiled a cruel, cold smile.

'Not yet,' he responded, his voice filling Hermione with cold, turning her blood to ice. 'I plan on doing that after I finish the both of you.'

That was all it took to set Harry off. He shot a stunning curse at Voldemort and he dodged it by sending a brilliant white light coursing back at Harry who sent a book flying in front of him to block it from hitting him.

'Well, well, well,' the cold voice teased, 'You certainly have gotten better since our last encounter.'

'You have no idea, Riddle,' Harry replied calling him by his muggle father's name, making Voldemort rage with a brilliant white fire.

'You shall never call me that again!' he screamed, and then turned his attention to Hermione who was hiding behind a bookshelf the entire time.

'Hello, dear,' he told her, 'The ancient magic may have saved him once, but it won't save him twice,' he said, grinning horrendously at Hermione.

'No!' Harry yelled, as he charged toward Voldemort, as Voldemort let the horrible words escape his mouth. The green lightning bolt left Voldemort's want and grazed Harry's chest, burning a hole in the wall.

'Nooooooo!' Hermione shrieked as she saw both men fall to the floor. Voldemort cackled as he stood up, but Hermione (through uncontrollable tears) instead transfigured her want, approaching Voldemort from behind, and in one swift motion put the metal steel of her sword though Voldemort's back. The hollow laughing stopped, and Harry, who was barely alive smiled at his brilliant wife, who couldn't keep her mouth closed in horror that she actually killed someone. But was Voldemort really human? Tom Riddle fell to the floor with a resounding clunk, and Hermione rushed to Harry's side, cradling his head in her lap and holding his hand tightly.

and I held your hand through all of these years

but you still have all of me

'Hermione, I'm so scared,' Harry sobbed lightly. Hermione shook her head, tears falling onto his shiny jet black hair.

'Don't you say that Harry Potter. Don't you give up just yet. He's gone, and you're free now. You're free,' she sobbed, and clutched his head in her arms.

'I love you Hermione,' his whisper coming out in a strangle as he tried his best to whisper into her ear, 'And tell Eveny that I love her sooooo much. Don't let her forget it, Hermione because it would kill me if she didn't even know how much I love you both.'

'She knows, and you can remind her every day. The Order are on their way right now, Harry. You'll be all right.' She scolded through tears.

'I love you,' he breathed, his last breath. The air was still, and time stopped all around her. She choked on her tears and let it all go. She roughly kissed his lips that were still warm, hoping it could bring him back, but it didn't. He was gone, and Hermione refused to believe it.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

She still refuses to believe it, even though her tear-stained pillowcase speaks to her the truth; and the empty spot on her right fails to fill that hole burned into her heart. Hermione sobs, and pounds the mattress with her delicate fist.

'Why?' she cries, 'Why, Harry? I love you, but I can't do this anymore for my sake and our daughter's!' she screams into the night.

'Let me go, Hermione,' She hears in the darkness.

'Harry?' she inquired, seeing the form of her late husband's silhouette, sitting on the corner of her bed. She sat up and embraces him tightly, letting her tears coarse down her cheeks.

'I love you too, but you need to continue on,' He says, turning her so she looks him directly in the eye. 'Live your life to the every last minute. Don't waste your life worrying about me because I'm fine. We will come together once again, but for now give our daughter and yourself the best.'

'But I can't, it hurts too much,' she sobs into his chest.

'Love is all you need, and you have my love.'

'I love you too Harry, you know that.'

'I know, with all my heart, but you must sleep now, and wake in the morning letting this all be only a scar. Don't forget me, but don't dwell on the past because the one thing I have learned is you need to let go and move on. Let me go Herms, and live your life.' The soft husky voice she loved said with concern.

and though you're still with me

'All right, but you'd better not leave me completely Harry Potter,' she scolded -- like old times -- as he ran his fingers delicately through her hair one last time, giving her one final kiss on her sweet lips.

'I'll always be with you, even if you can't feel me. I love you.'

'I love you too, Harry.' Hermione sobbed and Harry smiled, disappearing into the night.

I've been alone all along

Maybe she wasn't alone in the way of a lover, her second half. She could see Harry through Eveny every day. Hermione stood up, and walked stealthily into her daughter's room. She smiled as she watched Eveny sleep peacefully, shadowed beautifully by her night-light and Hermione could almost see those beautiful emerald eyes even through her closed lids. The springs squeaked as Hermione lay next to her precious daughter on her bed, wrapping Eveny into a peaceful and protective embrace as Harry had once done for her. Hermione smiled as she smoothed her daughter's messy curls with her fingers, and knew it was okay. She could always find Harry again within Eveny's heart. He was immortal, and would live on through all the ages until the end of the world.

Let me know what you think. :)


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